As the FBI continues to investigate Rudy Giuliani, the former mayor admitted Russian prostitutes have leaked on the president.
“In Russia, they’re everywhere,” observed Giuliani. “You can’t walk the red light district or duck into a brothel without running into one. With Trump, given what he knows, it was inevitable he would eventually be leaked on.”
Giuliani on surveillance
According to Giuliani, Trump was a high-value target of Russian state-sponsored surveillance. “The fake news likes to claim that Trump is easily duped by flattery, but that’s simply not true,” he said. “It takes a special combination of praise and adulation to fool him, and when that happens, watch out!” The mayor’s eyes bugged wide, his hands gesturing wildly. “There’s likely to be a camera in the basket of flowers or behind the picture on the wall to catch him doing something disgusting.”
When it came to Russia, Giuliani said Trump downplayed the risks of spying as ‘fake news’. “That’s where he came up with the term,” he noted. “His views on the matter were the same as his position on climate change: if you can’t see it, it’s not happening. That’s pretty much been his guiding principle his entire life.”
Snowing in Texas and Louisiana, record setting freezing temperatures throughout the country and beyond. Global warming is an expensive hoax!
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) January 29, 2014
Leaking on the president
Giuliani reportedly told the FBI that during numerous visits to Russia before and after becoming president, Trump frequently spent time in the company of expensive women. “As he shows in his rallies, Trump is a personable man, a stable genius, if you will. The job of a hostess is to host — it’s literally in the word! However, there are lines that should be drawn — MUST be drawn — and that includes not leaking on the president of the United States. No matter what you have on him.”
The mayor compared women leaking on Trump with former FBI Director James Comey’s leaking. “They are equally terrible things,” he said. “Comey documented crimes in contemporaneous memos and shamelessly leaked them to the press.” His mouth twisted oddly, a ghastly smile crossing his face. “The president, with all his top secret information, was leaked on by hookers.” Giuliani grimaced, adding, “It seems all these communists want to do is to leak on Donald J. Trump!”
Trump rally
Riffing at a Dallas, Texas rally, the president brought up the subject of leaking. “It’s not very nice to be leaked on, that I can tell you,” he bellowed. “I’ve been leaked on many times, many, many times.” He mopped his brow. “It’s a disgrace!”
Trump gestured to a woman wearing a “Make America Great Again” tee-shirt and hat in the front row. “Hey you, D-cup,” he called, pointing directly at her as the crowd roared with glee. “Get up here! Come join me up here! Folks, give her a hand, will ya?”
FBI investigation
As the counterintelligence investigation of Rudy Giuliani progresses, salacious activities may be the tip of the iceberg. “Oh, there’s a lot more than that,” indicated the former mayor, grinning. “Russian collusion, bribing Susan Collins to vote for Kavanaugh, getting paid under the table by Erdogan to abandon the Kurds, you name it.”
Giuliani set his jaw defiantly. “But I’m the president’s lawyer. Unless he authorizes it, none of that is coming out. None at all.”
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