The 92nd Academy Awards were briefly disrupted when a catfight broke out among Cats cast members and security personnel.
“It was surreal,” said co-presenter Ryan Seacrest. “Honestly, I don’t know what Taylor Swift was thinking.”
Best Documentary Feature Oscar
The fracas began shortly after Mark Ruffalo announced that American Factory won the Oscar for Best Documentary Feature. “As the theme music played and Steven Bognar, Julia Reichert and the others were congratulating themselves, a shrill series of yowls erupted from the back,” recalled Seacrest. “Shortly thereafter, a bunch of the cast members rushed forward, led by a spitting mad Taylor Swift. They darted to the front and pounced onstage in full Cats costumes. Swift got in the face of Ruffalo and took him to the ground, trying to wrest the Oscar away.” He shook his head. “She had to be pulled off him by security.”
Cats up on the stage. 😆🤣😂🤣😂
Creepy and disturbing #Oscars
— CLO (@CloGrey175) February 10, 2020
Asked by entertainment reporter Maria Menounos why the cast would believe they deserved to win an award they weren’t nominated for, Seacreast shrugged his shoulders. “Beats me,” he replied. “Cats isn’t even a documentary!”
Refusing to leave
While security personnel flooded the stage and attempted to restore order, the Cats cast members refused to yield. “Taylor Swift was hissing and clawing at everyone, and before you know it, so was Jennifer Hudson, James Corden and Rebel Wilson,” recalled Seacrest. “Luckily, ABC had cut to a commercial by then, so the viewing audience was unaware of what was happening.” He winced, adding, “I saw a few things I’m not sure I can ever unsee. Let’s just say they definitely weren’t litter box trained!”
A still-shaken Seacrest noted the behavior of Judi Dench and Idris Elba was particularly shocking. “Dench was James Bond’s boss and has played in movies for what, like a hundred years or so, he said. “And Idris Elba is a professional, hunky dumbass. But by hissing, growling and refusing to play with the cat toys security threw onstage, they clearly enabled their alpha female ringleader: Taylor Swift.”
Critical condition
After several minutes of utter chaos, order was finally restored. “There was some residual hissing and yowling from Swift and Hudson, but it was pretty muted at that point,” recalled Seacreast. “Finally, they just sort of slinked away in disgrace.” He sighed in disgust, snapping, “Freaking pussies.”
Suffering numerous claw marks and bites in the attack by Swift, Mark Ruffalo was airlifted to UCLA Medical Center in critical condition. “You damn right I’m critical,” Ruffalo said from his hospital bed, nursing a Ginger Ale. “I didn’t sign up for this gig to put up with shit from Taylor Swift, that I can tell you.” He took a sip and quipped, “Maybe she should follow the advice of her song You Need to Calm Down, and, you know, calm the fuck down.”
iTunes US:
#48. Taylor Swift – You Need To Calm Down (+15) pic.twitter.com/V07DasoO4m
— alu (@gloryouslover) February 9, 2020
Taylor Swift’s statement
Following Ruffalo’s remarks, Taylor Swift released a formal statement addressing the incident.
You are somebody that I don’t know
But you’re taking shots at me like it’s Patrón
And I’m just like, “Damn!
It’s 7 AM”
Say it in the street, that’s a knock-out
But you say it in a tweet, that’s a cop-out
And I’m just like, “Hey!
Are you OK?”
And I ain’t tryna mess with your self-expression
But I’ve learned the lesson
That stressing and obsessing
‘Bout somebody else is no fun
And snakes and stones never broke my bones
So, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh!
You need to calm down
You’re being too loud
And I’m just like
“Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh!
You need to just stop
Like, can you just not step on my gown?
You need to calm down”
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