Donald Trump called into Fox & Friends on Wednesday to brag about the ‘unbelievable’ job he’s done as president and to pin a new nickname on presumptive opponent Joe Biden. But when asked for his response to the dozens of searing ads produced by the anti-Trump super PAC The Lincoln Project, his tone grew increasingly dark.
“They’re all a bunch of fucking liars,” railed the president. “Steve Schmuck, George Conman, Sick Wilson, the whole lot.” Trump laid the phone down to take a drink of water with both hands, then resumed his rant. “They want to take away your beautiful oil, kill your beautiful God, and gay up your beautiful children, that I can tell you.”
Hosts push forward
Pressing the matter further, co-host Steve Doocy asked Trump if any particular ad bothered him more than the rest. “They’re all terrible,” fumed the president. “Take the one where those losers failed fourth grade English. You know, the one they called ‘Mourning in America’?”
He set the phone down to take another slurp. “The fake news media won’t report this, but they misspelled ‘morning’!” Trump adjusted his toupee, lip curling with thinly-veiled contempt. “Can you believe that happy horseshit? They can’t even spell a simple word but they want to tell the country who the hell to vote for.”
Trump then veered off-script for the next five minutes, complaining about political correctness, boasting about beating the impeachment charges and claiming he saved ‘billions’ of lives with his coronavirus response.
Lincoln Project nickname
In an effort to re-focus the president, co-host Ainsley Earhardt asked Trump how he planned to counter The Lincoln Project’s slick attack ads, which appear to target disaffected Republicans and swing voters. “It’s a great, big Democrat hoax,” asserted the president. “I’m not worried about them, I’m not worried about them at all. But I’m giving them a big, fat nickname, that I can tell you. You know, like ‘Crooked Hillary’ or the one I gave that idiot Ted Cruz.” The phone clunked down, followed closely by a slurping sound. “It’s going to be a beautiful thing to watch, believe me.”
Asked by co-host Brian Kilmeade what that might be, Trump replied, “I don’t really want to talk about it right now.” In the very next breath, he said, “But I think ‘Lyin’ Lincoln’ works really, really well. Incredibly well, maybe.” He paused before adding, “If I can neuter Ted Cruz with a perfect nickname, I can totally kick the crap out of ‘Lyin’ Lincoln’.”
Wow, Lyin' Ted Cruz really went wacko today. Made all sorts of crazy charges. Can't function under pressure – not very presidential. Sad!
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) May 3, 2016
The Fox & Friends hosts’ mouths dropped open, momentarily stunned. “Uh, Mr. President?” asked Earhardt. “Do you think it’s wise to, you know, sully the great name of Abraham Lincoln?”
Trump pounced. “Who said anything about Abraham Lincoln?” he shot back. “Not many people know this, but he was a great Republican president who was treated almost as unfairly as I’ve been.” Clunk. Slurp. “I’m not talking about the father of our country, not about ‘Honest Abe’.” Trump sniffed deeply. “I’m talking about ‘Lyin’ Lincoln’.”
Doocy, Earhardt and Kilmeade looked at one another, not sure how to continue. “You do know that The Lincoln Project was named after Abraham Lincoln and George Washington was the father of our country, right?” offered Doocy tentatively. “Excuse me, excuse me,” interrupted Trump, clearly irritated. “Look, Douchy, you stick with your low-rated show and I’ll run the country, ok?”
.@FoxNews just doesn’t get what’s happening! They are being fed Democrat talking points, and they play them without hesitation or research. They forgot that Fake News @CNN & MSDNC wouldn’t let @FoxNews participate, even a little bit, in the poor ratings Democrat Debates…..
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) April 26, 2020
The response
Asked to respond to the president’s retaliatory threats, Lincoln Project co-founder Rick Wilson and author of the bestselling book Everything Trump Touches Dies rolled his eyes. “As a principled conservative, I don’t often quote Vermont senator Bernie Sanders. But I’m going to do so right now, because he characterized Donald Trump perfectly in an interview last year.
Donald Trump is the most racist, sexist, homophobic, bigoted president in history. He also has bad hair, a stupid face, a fat stomach, his feet smell, his voice is annoying, he’s a jobbernowl and his knees look weird.
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