Trump Boasts He Aced ‘Goodnight Moon’ to Fox’s Chris Wallace

During a rambling interview with Fox News’ Chris Wallace, President Trump attempted to distance himself from presumptive Democratic presidential candidate Joe Biden by claiming he, alone, can read Goodnight Moon. 

The testy exchange began just after the president claimed his administration had defeated the coronavirus and that Americans can go back to living their normal lives again.

Covid-19

Wallace: Let’s start with the surge of the coronavirus across the country in recent months. You still talk about it as, quote, “burning embers.” But I want to put up a chart that shows where we are with the illness over the last four months. As you can see, we hit a peak here in April, 36,000 cases …

Trump: The fake news loves to say we’ve got more cases because they want Stupidhead Joe to win the election. We have more cases because we do more testing than anywhere in the world, times about a billion. And that’s skewing the numbers. Totally skewing them, ok? We’ve beaten the beautiful Covid-19, just like we won two beautiful world wars. Totally defeated it.

Wallace (raising an eyebrow). That’s not true, sir. We, we, we have a — we had 900 deaths on a single day …

Trump: Read the transcripts. It was a beautiful, warm, nice conversation. A perfect phone call. No obstruction, no collusion. Joe Biden and the radical left-wing mob want to castrate your police, confiscate your guns and murder your God. That’s what Stupidhead Joe wants, Chris, that I can tell you.

Wallace: No he, sir, he does not.

Trump: Oh really? Chris, you’ve got to start studying for these. Get me a bucket of chicken, please.

Kellyanne Conway dutifully climbs aboard a Black Hawk helicopter, heading for KFC.

Wallace discusses senility

Wallace: So let me ask you a direct question.

Trump (panicked look): No, no …

Wallace:  No, I’m going to ask you a direct question about Joe Biden. Is Joe Biden senile?

Trump (relieved): I don’t want to say that. Joe Biden is the seniliest candidate ever to run for president of the United States. Seriously, he’s crazy like a doorknob. He doesn’t even know what side of his body his pecker is on. It’s called the front, Joe, it’s called the front. People tell me Biden wets his bed and that he thought the China Virus — I call it the China Virus because China should never have let it out of their country — could be eliminated by disinfectant. A cleaning, even.

Wallace:  But I’ve got to tell you, if I may, sir, respectfully, in the Fox poll, they asked people, who is more competent? Who’s got — whose mind is sounder? Biden beats you in that.

Trump: I’ll tell you what, let’s take a test.  Let’s take a test right now. Let’s go down, Joe and I will take a test. Let him take the same test that I took. I took a test, a very hard test and I aced it, passed it with flying colors.

President Trump falsely claimed mastering ‘Goodnight Moon’ was more important than the President’s Daily Brief. Credit: HarperCollins Publishers

Wallace (respectfully):  It’s not – well it’s not the hardest test.

Trump: Excuse me, excuse me. It’s called Goodnight Moon. It was a beautiful book written many, many years ago. A very important book, even more than the President’s Daily Brief maybe. And I aced it, Chris. Totally aced it.

Wallace:  Incidentally, I took the test too when I heard that you passed it.

Trump:  Yeah, how did you do?

Wallace: Mr. President, it’s a children’s book.

Trump: It’s all misrepresentation. Because, yes, the first few pages are easy, but I’ll bet you couldn’t read the last five. I’ll bet you couldn’t, they get very hard, the last five pages.

(Off-camera laughter)

Wallace: Mr. President, thank you, thanks for talking with us.

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