Anticipating their father’s impending defeat in November, the elder Trump sons are ready for life after grift. According to Hollywood insiders, Eric and Donald Trump Jr. will star in a live-action remake of the iconic Beavis and Butt-Head cartoon.
“The deal is done,” announced Universal Pictures president Jimmy Horowitz, lighting a celebratory cigar. “Those wacky, crazy Trump brothers will be perfect as Beavis and Butt-Head.”
Eric Trump and Donald Trump Jr. look and act just like Beavis And Butt-Head.
~ Baron Tremayne Caple A.K.A. Rainbow Man https://t.co/bu564MujoR
— 🦊 🇯🇵 Baron Tremayne Caple/男爵-トレメイン-カプル 🇯🇵 🦊 (@BaronCaple) November 17, 2019
Beavis and Butt-Head
Debuting in 1993, Beavis and Butt-Head quickly became a nihilistic cult classic. “We had a good run,” said series creator Mike Judge. “It was a lot of fun depicting the boys as pitifully creepy or laughing like a couple of inbred idiots.”
According to Judge, the series ended because audiences could no longer relate to the characters. “After eight years, it was clear America didn’t buy the premise anymore,” indicated Judge. Dropping a wink, he quipped, “Nobody is that stupid.”
Enter Eric and Don Jr.
The decision was made to reboot the franchise midway through the Trump presidency. “By that point, we realized, hey, looks like we were wrong,” explained Judge. “People are that stupid. Why else would our country elect a fucking reality star president? To top it all off, the unqualified narcissist has two of the most moronic sons this side of Homeboys From Outer Space.”
An unaired episode of "Homeboys From Outer Space" will draw better than you, Zippy.
— Brandon C. Williams (@BCWilliams71) May 30, 2019
Judge did the math in his head. “But America’s loss is our gain,” he said. “Because once it became obvious Jabba the Trump wasn’t likely to be able to cheat his way to a second term, Eric and Don Jr. jumped ship like a couple of imbecilic rats. They couldn’t agree to play Beavis and Butt-Head fast enough.”
Three movie deal
The live-action reboot intends to turn out three movies over the next five years. “The first installment will be called Beavis and Butt-Head: The Art of the Steal,” Judge disclosed. “After that, Beavis and Butt-Head: Think Pig and Kiss Ass.” He paused, wheels spinning. “We haven’t settled on a third title, but we’re leaning toward Beavis and Butt-Head: The America We Desert.”
Eric Trump will play Beavis, while Don Jr. will assume the role of Butt-Head. “They actually argued over who would play each character,” Judge said incredulously. “After sharing a joint and then getting in each others’ faces, they began slapping one another silly before curling up in fetal positions, weeping uncontrollably.”
Donald Trump responds
Asked his opinion of the movie deals during a White House coronavirus briefing, President Trump shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t have an opinion about it,” he claimed. “Eric is completely overrated and I’ve heard that Don Jr. is a Hillary Clinton lover. Many people are saying that he loves Crooked Hillary, that I can tell you.” He shook his head, pointing a finger at the assembled press corps. “I’ve never met either one of them, but they sound like total losers.”
When the subject of his sons’ news impacting the presidential election came up, Trump’s brow furrowed. “Just because two losers I’ve never heard of don’t think I’ll win the election — and our polls show me leading in every state by a lot — doesn’t mean Russia is helping me again this year. I’m winning because Stupidhead Joe and the Democrats want to tax every penny of your income and allow everyone to vote, especially women and African-Americans.”
Trump wiped orange sweat from his forehead. “Americans don’t want that kind of liberal garbage, and that’s why I’ll win. Not because Vladimir Putin and I have a secret deal to build Trump Tower Moscow after I loot the country and leave office, believe me.”
Beavis and Butt-Head: The Art of the Steal is scheduled to be released on Labor Day, 2021.
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