Tag: Anderson Cooper

Adopting Biden’s Upbeat Tack, Network News ‘Positive’ Trump Is a Clown

Mirroring Joe Biden’s temporary cessation of Trump attack ads, multiple news outlets vowed to cast the president in a positive light during his Covid-19 affliction. In a rare display of unanimity, major news networks joined together to proclaim they are ‘positive’ Trump is a clown. “Oh, I’m absolutely positive he’s a clown,” snapped NBC Nightly […]

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CNN Officially Changes Name to Coronavirus News Network

After weeks of 24/7 coronavirus coverage, CNN is officially changing its name to Coronavirus News Network. “It’s the biggest story in world history,” proclaimed CNN chairman Jeff Zucker. “Bigger than Pearl Harbor, 9/11, Harvey Weinstein’s perversion and Donald Trump’s perversion, times a billion. We’ve ordered our anchors to cover the outbreak at the expense of […]

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Trump Reveals Nicknames for Every Democratic Presidential Candidate

On Saturday, President Trump sat down with CNN’s Anderson Cooper to discuss his incendiary comments about Ilhan Omar, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, Rashida Tlaib and Ayanna Pressley. Predictably, the president veered off-topic and hijacked the interview, unveiling new nicknames for every remaining presidential candidate. “I’m not going to speak badly about those four man-hating foreigners,” said Trump. […]

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