Tag: Donald Trump Jr.

New York Times: Trump’s Staggering Tax Losses ‘Mostly Cheeseburgers’

In a bombshell report by The New York Times, Donald Trump was exposed as a deeply flawed businessman whose tax returns show he perpetually hemorrhages money. Over the next few weeks, the Times will publish further articles explaining the reason why: a crushing addiction to cheeseburgers. “Donald Trump doesn’t drink or smoke, but man alive, he sure […]

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RNC to Conclude With ‘Person, Woman, Man, Camera, TV: The Musical’

The Republican National Convention began the week playing the dark tones of the ‘radical left’ allegedly destroying America. Happily, it will end with optimistic tunes: a four-hour musical featuring a singing and dancing Donald J. Trump. “Nobody knows showmanship better than Donald Trump,” marveled RNC Chairperson Ronna McDaniel. “In a normal convention, we’d schedule godawful […]

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Trump Sons to Star in Live-Action ‘Beavis and Butt-Head’ Movie

Anticipating their father’s impending defeat in November, the elder Trump sons are ready for life after grift. According to Hollywood insiders, Eric and Donald Trump Jr. will star in a live-action remake of the iconic Beavis and Butt-Head cartoon. “The deal is done,” announced Universal Pictures president Jimmy Horowitz, lighting a celebratory cigar. “Those wacky, […]

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Trump Proposes Delaying Election Until ‘Statue of Lamentations’ Expires

Having already suggested delaying the general election, President Trump now has a date in mind: August 2, 2022. With Universal Mail-In Voting (not Absentee Voting, which is good), 2020 will be the most INACCURATE & FRAUDULENT Election in history. It will be a great embarrassment to the USA. Delay the Election until people can properly, […]

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Trump Orders CDC to Use Windex to Stop the Spread of Coronavirus

During a tour of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, President Trump ordered the agency to use Windex to halt the spread of coronavirus in the U.S. Trump talks coronavirus On Friday, the president toured the CDC, meeting with Director Robert Redfield and Associate Director for Laboratory Science and Safety (ADLSS) Dr. Steve Monroe. […]

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Eric and Don Jr. Argue Over Which Trump Son Is Dumber

Over the weekend, the longstanding debate over which of Donald Trump’s adult sons is stupider reached a fever pitch. Appearing on Fox News Sunday, Eric Trump claimed he drew the short straw with respect to brotherly intelligence. “Yeah, I’m way dumber, dude,” said Eric with a trace of pride. “I mean, it’s not like my brother […]

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