Tag: Houston Astros

Astros, Nationals Apologize for Crappy World Series Matchup

The Houston Astros and Washington Nationals issued a joint statement Wednesday evening, apologizing for being the two most boring teams ever to meet in the World Series. “We’re dull,” admitted Astros manager A.J. Hinch. He jerked his thumb toward the other dugout. “Those Nationals assholes are, too. Match us up and you’ve got one crappy […]

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Servais Vows to ‘Eat a Bug’ if Streaking Mariners Don’t Make the Playoffs

Following Seattle’s four-game sweep of the Detroit Tigers, manager Scott Servias resurrected an old Cal Worthington trope. Ecstatic after his team’s fifth straight win, Servais vowed he’d ‘eat a bug’ if the Mariners don’t make the playoffs this year. “We’re gonna do it,” Servais insisted during his post-game press conference. “We’ve won six out of […]

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