Pence Seeks Conversion Therapy After Shaking Hands with Mayor Pete

Mike Pence checked into a conversion therapy clinic shortly after shaking Mayor Pete Buttieg’s hand at a South Bend black tie event, The Lucky Rock has learned. “It was the damnedest thing,” said Buttigieg. “We both attended a Kars 4 Kids charity dinner last month, and naturally, we ran into one another. I said something along […]

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Trump Maintains He Said ‘I’m Glucked’ in Incendiary Mueller Report Quote

On Saturday, a fiery President Trump spoke at a rally in Birmingham, Alabama, basking in the glow of a cheering crowd. “No collusion, no obstruction!” Trump bellowed as the audience roared their approval. “The crazy Mueller report was a witch hunt, folks. An illegal witch hunt started by Hillary Clinton, Jeff Sessions, Mitt Romney, John […]

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