Donald Trump called into Fox & Friends on Wednesday to brag about the ‘unbelievable’ job he’s done as president and to pin a new nickname on presumptive opponent Joe Biden. But when asked for his response to the dozens of searing ads produced by the anti-Trump super PAC The Lincoln Project, his tone grew increasingly dark. […]
Read More Trump Calls the Lincoln Project ‘Lyin’ Lincoln’ in Disastrous Fox InterviewImmediately following the latest Democratic debate, Joe Biden made another promise likely to dramatically improve his standing with a key voting bloc: Millennials. “Number one, as I said during the debate, I’ll choose a woman as vice president,” Biden reiterated during an impromptu press conference. Shaking his fist, he vowed, “I’ll do it, dad gummit, […]
Read More Biden Promises to Select a Gender-Fluid Dog as First PetOn Thursday, Elizabeth Warren took to the podium to announce she was suspending her campaign for president. Following the bittersweet news, Warren surprised reporters by indicating she was ready and willing to offer her endorsement. In a twist worthy of an O. Henry ending, she endorsed Chief Geoffrey Standing Bear, leader of the Osage Nation […]
Read More Elizabeth Warren Drops Out of 2020 Race, Endorses Chief Standing BearDemocratic presidential candidate Andrew Yang addressed reporters on Saturday to deny reports that he is, in fact, a real-life robot. “Negative,” responded Yang, shaking his head at Washington Post reporter Robert Costa. “That does not compute.” Yang and ‘The War on Normal People’ Rumors that Yang may be the world’s first cybernetic organism began shortly […]
Read More Robotic Democratic Candidate Andrew Yang Denies He’s Actually a RobotWhile taking a break from the campaign trail, Cory Booker gave a frank assessment of the reason behind his low poll numbers. “When you look at the leading Democratic candidates, you see that they all have one thing in common,” he commented to beat reporters. “Joe, Elizabeth, Pete and Bernie are names of people you […]
Read More Cory Booker Blames Low Poll Numbers on His ‘Boy Band’ NameAs the FBI continues to investigate Rudy Giuliani, the former mayor admitted Russian prostitutes have leaked on the president. “In Russia, they’re everywhere,” observed Giuliani. “You can’t walk the red light district or duck into a brothel without running into one. With Trump, given what he knows, it was inevitable he would eventually be leaked […]
Read More Giuliani Tells FBI That Russian Prostitutes Leaked on TrumpOn Wednesday, President Trump seized the initiative by directing Attorney General Bill Barr to impeach every Democrat in the House of Representatives. “I think it is probably, possibly okay for me to do that,” Trump claimed to a throng of reporters. “Show me where the Constitution says I can’t impeach them.” The president pointed his […]
Read More Trump Fires Back, Orders AG Barr to Impeach ‘Loser’ House DemocratsDuring the third Democratic debate, the candidates sparred over health care, gun control, foreign policy and numerous other topics. While the tone ranged from collegial to caustic, the big news came in the last half hour when Vermont Senator Bernie Sanders cast serious doubt upon his own candidacy. The mic drop debate moment The stunning […]
Read More Sen. Sanders Stuns Debate Moderators: ‘You’re Throwing Your Vote Away’Day two of the Democratic debates saw a feisty Joe Biden work to overcome his lackluster performance from the previous debate. Not only did mention Barack Obama at every turn, but Biden went a step further by promising to ‘slather’ himself in the former president from this point forward. “Look, I know everyone here would […]
Read More Joe Biden: ‘I Will Slather Myself in Obama if You Make Me Your President’On Saturday, President Trump sat down with CNN’s Anderson Cooper to discuss his incendiary comments about Ilhan Omar, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, Rashida Tlaib and Ayanna Pressley. Predictably, the president veered off-topic and hijacked the interview, unveiling new nicknames for every remaining presidential candidate. “I’m not going to speak badly about those four man-hating foreigners,” said Trump. […]
Read More Trump Reveals Nicknames for Every Democratic Presidential Candidate
