Tag: Kelleyane Conway

President Trump Files Lawsuit Against His Own Campaign

Seeing the handwriting on the wall, Donald Trump took decisive action on Thursday by filing a lawsuit in federal court against his presidential campaign. “They were a total disaster,” proclaimed the president in a hastily-arranged press conference at the White House. “Stupid Stepien, Masturbating Max Miller, Jeff DeWitless, Lara Trumpster fire, SmellyAnne Con Job, and […]

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Social Distancing Republicans Vow Not to Touch Trump With 10-Foot Pole

Mindful of the effects of COVID-19, Congressional Republicans have finally embraced social distancing and vowed to separate themselves from President Trump through election day. “We must remain unified and vigilant,” said Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell. “With the virus raging throughout the country, we simply cannot risk presidential exposure. Effective immediately, congressional Republicans will distance […]

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