Following a torrid 15-month affair, President Trump called Kim Jong Un over the weekend, pleading with the North Korean leader not to end their relationship. “It was embarrassing,” confessed an unnamed White House source. “Donald was, how you say, crying throughout phone call. I kept saying ‘Donald, you’re making a fool of yourself, be best’.” […]
Read More Source: Emotional Trump Begs Kim Jong Un Not to End AffairIn addition to corroborating President Trump’s Ukraine extortion scheme, Lt. Colonel Alexander Vindman’s impeachment inquiry testimony shed light on the failed US-North Korea summit in Hanoi last February. According to Vindman, Trump spent the entire time making inappropriate comments about the dong — Vietnam’s official currency. Vietnam is thriving like few places on earth. North […]
Read More Vindman: Trump Obsessed With Dong During US-North Korea SummitMike Pence checked into a conversion therapy clinic shortly after shaking Mayor Pete Buttieg’s hand at a South Bend black tie event, The Lucky Rock has learned. “It was the damnedest thing,” said Buttigieg. “We both attended a Kars 4 Kids charity dinner last month, and naturally, we ran into one another. I said something along […]
Read More Pence Seeks Conversion Therapy After Shaking Hands with Mayor PeteIn an abrupt reversal, President Trump slammed the Federal Reserve for lowering the fed funds rate by a quarter point on Wednesday. Jay Powell and the Federal Reserve Fail Again. No “guts,” no sense, no vision! A terrible communicator! — Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) September 18, 2019 “What on earth is Jay Powell doing?” Trump […]
Read More Trump Blasts Fed for Cutting Interest Rates: ‘Even Don Jr. Isn’t That Dumb’Frustrated with his enablers’ inability to dumb down the explanation of how tariffs work, President Trump took matters into his own hands. Following a sock puppet cabinet presentation by desiccated Commerce Secretary Wilbur Ross (as Trump) and advisor Stephen Miller (as Chinese president Xi Jinping) last year, a confused Trump reportedly boiled over in anger. […]
Read More Incognito Trump Asked Country Bumpkin to Explain Tariffs to Him (Video)Following a wild week that included Special Counsel Bob Mueller’s stinging press conference, presidential attorney John Dowd’s incriminating transcripts, a new trade war and Donald Trump’s announced re-election kickoff, Vice President Mike Pence clearly had heard enough. In a stunning USA Today interview, Pence joined the growing list of members of Congress calling for the president’s […]
Read More Vice President Pence Calls for ‘Dotard’ Trump’s ImpeachmentShortly after the entrance of Joe Biden into the 2020 presidential race, President Trump wasted no time welcoming him into the fray: Welcome to the race Sleepy Joe. I only hope you have the intelligence, long in doubt, to wage a successful primary campaign. It will be nasty – you will be dealing with people […]
Read More Trump Mocks ‘Stupidhead Joe’ Biden at Campaign RallyAfter learning that Taco Bell closed sixteen locations in four states, President Trump acted swiftly, declaring his second national emergency in three days. The president further disclosed that thousands of troops were on the ground in Texas, Missouri, Oklahoma and Kansas to restore order. The new national emergency “It’s a disgrace,” said Trump to a […]
Read More Taco Bell Closes 16 Locations; Trump Declares National EmergencySeeing his new slogan “BUILD THE WALL AND CRIME WILL FALL!” hilariously mocked on Twitter, President Trump turned to bargaining on the eve of negotiations with Nancy Pelosi over a new Continuing Resolution. BUILD A WALL & CRIME WILL FALL! — Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) January 23, 2019 “After a long nap and a gallon […]
Read More Trump Offers New Slogan to Pelosi: “Build the Fence & I’ll Dump Mike Pence”According to three anonymous sources, President Trump is concerned that Democrats may be wrong about his promised border wall. The wall: a waste of money? “The president firmly believes Democrat resistance over his wall might be misguided,” said Kellyanne Conway the first source. “After watching Chris Matthews, Rachael Maddow and Lawrence O’Donnell on MSNBC every […]
Read More WH Sources: Trump Concerned Dems May Be Wrong About Border Wall
