Tag: Rachel Maddow

Adopting Biden’s Upbeat Tack, Network News ‘Positive’ Trump Is a Clown

Mirroring Joe Biden’s temporary cessation of Trump attack ads, multiple news outlets vowed to cast the president in a positive light during his Covid-19 affliction. In a rare display of unanimity, major news networks joined together to proclaim they are ‘positive’ Trump is a clown. “Oh, I’m absolutely positive he’s a clown,” snapped NBC Nightly […]

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CNN Officially Changes Name to Coronavirus News Network

After weeks of 24/7 coronavirus coverage, CNN is officially changing its name to Coronavirus News Network. “It’s the biggest story in world history,” proclaimed CNN chairman Jeff Zucker. “Bigger than Pearl Harbor, 9/11, Harvey Weinstein’s perversion and Donald Trump’s perversion, times a billion. We’ve ordered our anchors to cover the outbreak at the expense of […]

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Elizabeth Warren Drops Out of 2020 Race, Endorses Chief Standing Bear

On Thursday, Elizabeth Warren took to the podium to announce she was suspending her campaign for president. Following the bittersweet news, Warren surprised reporters by indicating she was ready and willing to offer her endorsement. In a twist worthy of an O. Henry ending, she endorsed Chief Geoffrey Standing Bear, leader of the Osage Nation […]

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Vowing to Stop Bernie Sanders, Rachel Maddow Joins Fox News

On Tuesday, longtime cable news host Rachel Maddow stunned her millions of fans by revealing she was leaving MSNBC for rival Fox News. Maddow will make the switch on April 1st with the debut of her new show Maddog Maddow. “After eleven pretty good years, I’ve decided it’s time to move on to greener pastures,” […]

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Dem Debate, Night 2: Candidates Give Each Other Trump-Like Nicknames

Night two of the Democratic debates started cordially, but deteriorated quickly as the candidates began shouting insults at one another. Ultimately, they handed the GOP a political gift by snarkily giving each other Trump-style nicknames. “I have to say, it was beyond surreal,” said NBC Nightly News anchor Lester Holt. “The spell President Trump has […]

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