Tag: Shia LaBeouf

CNN Officially Changes Name to Coronavirus News Network

After weeks of 24/7 coronavirus coverage, CNN is officially changing its name to Coronavirus News Network. “It’s the biggest story in world history,” proclaimed CNN chairman Jeff Zucker. “Bigger than Pearl Harbor, 9/11, Harvey Weinstein’s perversion and Donald Trump’s perversion, times a billion. We’ve ordered our anchors to cover the outbreak at the expense of […]

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God Appears as a Giant Smokestack to Vent About Climate Change

Over the weekend, Almighty God materialized as a giant smokestack to vent about America’s inability to confront the challenges of climate change. A placid Trussville, Alabama Taco Bell was in the middle of the lunch rush when a thunderous ripping sound pierced the air. As staff and patrons screamed, a huge smokestack emerged from the […]

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