After beseeching suburban women to like him, Donald Trump went a step further on Sunday, threatening to lose the election if more people don’t follow suit. “I’ll do it,” vowed the president to thousands of rallygoers in Muskegon, Michigan. “I’ll lose this damn election right now if millions of people all across this shithole country […]
Read More Trump Threatens to Lose Election if People Don’t Start Liking HimUnderscoring the challenges scientists face in developing a vaccine against Covid-19, the virus has reportedly jumped species again, this time infecting White House policy adviser Stephen Miller. It's jumped species. https://t.co/QDbvsZ4xOr — The Lincoln Project (@ProjectLincoln) October 6, 2020 “As I’ve been saying for many months, this virus is remarkably resilient,” said a visibly frustrated Anthony […]
Read More Covid-19 Jumps Species, Infects Trump Adviser Stephen MillerMindful of the effects of COVID-19, Congressional Republicans have finally embraced social distancing and vowed to separate themselves from President Trump through election day. “We must remain unified and vigilant,” said Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell. “With the virus raging throughout the country, we simply cannot risk presidential exposure. Effective immediately, congressional Republicans will distance […]
Read More Social Distancing Republicans Vow Not to Touch Trump With 10-Foot PoleIn addition to corroborating President Trump’s Ukraine extortion scheme, Lt. Colonel Alexander Vindman’s impeachment inquiry testimony shed light on the failed US-North Korea summit in Hanoi last February. According to Vindman, Trump spent the entire time making inappropriate comments about the dong — Vietnam’s official currency. Vietnam is thriving like few places on earth. North […]
Read More Vindman: Trump Obsessed With Dong During US-North Korea SummitMike Pence checked into a conversion therapy clinic shortly after shaking Mayor Pete Buttieg’s hand at a South Bend black tie event, The Lucky Rock has learned. “It was the damnedest thing,” said Buttigieg. “We both attended a Kars 4 Kids charity dinner last month, and naturally, we ran into one another. I said something along […]
Read More Pence Seeks Conversion Therapy After Shaking Hands with Mayor PeteFrustrated with his enablers’ inability to dumb down the explanation of how tariffs work, President Trump took matters into his own hands. Following a sock puppet cabinet presentation by desiccated Commerce Secretary Wilbur Ross (as Trump) and advisor Stephen Miller (as Chinese president Xi Jinping) last year, a confused Trump reportedly boiled over in anger. […]
Read More Incognito Trump Asked Country Bumpkin to Explain Tariffs to Him (Video)Following a wild week that included Special Counsel Bob Mueller’s stinging press conference, presidential attorney John Dowd’s incriminating transcripts, a new trade war and Donald Trump’s announced re-election kickoff, Vice President Mike Pence clearly had heard enough. In a stunning USA Today interview, Pence joined the growing list of members of Congress calling for the president’s […]
Read More Vice President Pence Calls for ‘Dotard’ Trump’s Impeachment
